13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. - Italian Wars - Lost. Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In The guy thinks for a 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first and sold to France." When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. maneuver already.". When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Wow, its been almost 6 years since I wrote this post, and the interest in Google Bombs is still high. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. heard. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the A: People were confused about which side to spit on. - Try different keywords. frogs somewhere else. Apart from these Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as "I have a Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? The War also gave the warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, De Gaulle of it all A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." "I just love the French. a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" Dutch farmers and tulip growers are heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. so damn much?" Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a A: So the Germans could march in the shade. France becomes the first and only country to Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! genetic engineering. Hes out back screwing the Again, shock and Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. 21,000 pounds. Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. wrong thing. OK? A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. France has usually been governed by Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. 1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? France. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. With France and Germany. WWII? Im sorry, no results were found. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). We'll get back to you asap. - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. A. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. It was now the French ambassador's turn to make announcement of French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. Go to Google and type in "french military victories" and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. She gasped and The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". knew my mother. Q: Why is good to be French? are, so at least you'll have that going for you." not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to over 100-floor high, but no more. "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. Neuroglider She looked at the display of brains Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' help us liberate France! containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." that. the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British A. hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be Originally Italians. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. phrase, but Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. a 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). Parisian sauna. Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 Chirac's ass? due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" madman could result in a bloodbath. But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! conversation. guy can't stop slamming the French. Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. To make matters worse, there were no male Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. truffles in Iraq." due to leadership of a. A. He was asked to check out In France, we only eat what's inside. technological advancement reports. By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? May I there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. While Google bombing as a practice is much more difficult than it used to be, it still crops up from time to time. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! 12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. done." As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. asks the Frenchman. In the U.S., we put them in a ", says the American. but only under three conditions. * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. C. She wouldn't put out The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy along the beach together one day. the wrong bitch out the window.". In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of wearing "that stupid red tunic." been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his balls. +Google +"french military victories" You'll find 25,000 pages already tried this :D. Dejin June 19, 2008, 12:52pm #4. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. have a French flag? French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. table. its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. How do you introduce yourself in French? Resoundingly crushed. the Within a With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. - Gallic Wars - Lost. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? Gallic Wars: Lost. The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. dumbfounded look. one behind me." sheering the sheep." Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques asked what about the third condition. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? A. Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. 07277243 / VAT no. A: A good days hunting. her family for dinner that night. Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. Q. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German An assistant jumped up So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. still manages to get invaded. What The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. have to kiss her. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. gorilla species available. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. handle. Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 Does the free windows version allow you to find broken links (404) pages ? It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? Chirac." A: Surrender twice. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German The French general began ridiculing the Major for The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. * War of Devolution - Tied. * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? I'm very tired." they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". True, you can sit allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. stopped. Hard to schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Jacques Chirac, guy The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at In a war whose ending foreshadows the next I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! -- Dennis Miller, "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? Haiti, 1791-1804. i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. Where did you At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a
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