'Of course I wouldn't!' "I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir." Lukas Podolski walks into a sperm donor bank in London A: Kick his sister in the mouth Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and, as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. FREE BETS:GET OVER 2,000 IN NEW CUSTOMER DEALS, One user tweeted: "Arsenal have lost their manners. A: A good start! A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Understandably, Arsenal fans were quick to comment on the club's jibe as they revelled in the joke. Finally, things might be starting to turn our way! Ouch. Johnny comes to the front of the class. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Why is Arsenal gutted at the collapse of the European Super League?They were really looking forward to the possibility of finishing as high as 12th place. replies Arsene. Why is tea so expensive at White Hart Lane?Because they dont have that many cups. A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Champions League final on television. Whats a pirates favorite football club?Arrrrrrrsenal. ", The reporter asks: "Who do you support, then? A: A mosquito stops sucking. Why do ducks fly over White Hart Lane upside down? A booming voice welcomes them as they walk through the doors. See if this plane turns upside-down will we fall out?". "The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that? The Rivalry of Tottenham Hotspur - Arsenal. Why do ducks fly over Emirates Stadium upside down? Select it and click on the button to choose it. "Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?". After they crawl out of their cars, the Spurs fan says. When was the last time you won anything? Arsenal are to allow their goal keepers, to train without a mask, PREMIER LEAGUEArsenal charged by FA following red card complaints in defeat to Man City, DEADLINE DAYBarcelona boss Xavi warned NOT to sign Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, OPINION5 reasons it's a GOOD thing the Gunners didn't sign anyone in January, Thank you for reading 5 articles this month* Join now for unlimited access, Enjoy your first month for just 1 / $1 / 1, *Read 5 free articles per month without a subscription. She asks Mary why she is a Liverpool supporter. The first is a Manchester United supporter, the second an Arsenal supporter, and the third a Spurs supporter. Quasimodo came out of his conference scratching his head. The former Sky Sports presenter has long had a bee in his bonnet about the Arsenal manager being outside of his technical area for long periods of matches. Q. Then Snow White says, "How do I know I'm the most beautiful woman in the world? The Gunners have discovered their Europa League fate after being . Or why not treat yourself? A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions. Q: Why do Tottenham blokes drink from a saucer? We suggest to use only working arsenal juventus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. You wont get hit unless the bottles got your name on it., Thats just what Im worried about, said the fan,my names Johnny Walker.. the other one wore no knickers and she supported Arsenal. Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for Arsenal.' Surely God wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune.". A: So Arsenal supporters can get laid too. Q: Why did god invent alcohol? The receptionist replies "Because I'm not an Arsenal fan." Q: How do you casterate a Spurs supporter? This Arsenal team is demonstrating dominance and superiority over their opponents. Im looking for a rubbish tip.The other man said, Arsenal to win the Premier League., A woman was reading a newspaper one morning when she mentioned a piece of news to her husband.Take a look at this, dear. Ive let you down Ive let you down.Dont be stupid Diego, you got a draw against Spurs all by yourself. ''Did you visit the Wailing Wall? Q: What team comes beatween your legs and your back? The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. A plane with 5 passengers was about to crash mid-air and there were only 4 parachutes.The first passenger is Cristiano Ronaldo: Im the worlds best footballer, and my fans still need me. 'Story Jokes About ArsenalA Spurs fan, a Watford fan and a Gunners fan came across a nude, dead woman in the street. She replied "One of my friends said you are a Pedophile.". I'm a Spurs fan Wow! Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. Twice. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?" The receptionist replies Three aged soccer fans enter a church. Q: What does a Tottenham Hotspur supporter and a bottle of beer have in common? How do you make an Arsenal fan a millionaire?Tell them to save up for the champions league final. Reckless Driver Not really knowing what a Tottenham Hotspur supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. One day there was 3 girls one supported Leeds United and wore blue knickers, Two days on and it still doesn't seem real: the dreamlike final weekend of the season, which in its sweeping drama proved once again that Tottenham will manage to unearth increasingly amazing ways, performing bizarre acts of contortion, to finish below Arsenal in the Premier League table. Whats the difference between The Emirates and a cactus?With the cactus, the pricks are on the outside. A: Ask an Arsenal supporter! Q: Did you hear that Arsenal doesn't have a website? A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is a Tottenham Hotspur supporter. Here are the best Tottenham Jokes for you to share with your friends. Whilst the away end was bouncing, one Arsenal fan was hiding in plain sight behind enemy lines, and went viral for showing off his Arsenal kit in the home end, without the steward noticing, as you can see in the video below. Q: What does a Gunners fan do when his team has won the Champions League? , to which God replied, In ten years. The disappointed admirer sulks away, exclaiming, Thats a shame; Ill probably be dead by then.The Arsenal fan and his walking cane push the first fan to the side as he sulks. A: He turns off the PlayStation. A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. club doctors confirm. A: People would pass up a pair of Arsenal tickets. The first cat says "as we live at the football stadium let's divide it by team. )Gunner be a long season for Arsenal at this rate! 'Look at this, dear. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" Enjoy the team's latest comic relief and have a laugh at their expense, from FIFA to Scunthorpe! ", The boy interrupts: "But I'm not a Spurs fan. Suddenly, the driver saw a Gunners supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. There's no way they can catch anything.. Coach Ivan plays on passion but walkoff is a step too far, Transfer Talk: Bayern still keen on Kane despite new Choupo-Moting deal, Reiten's, Maanum's parallel paths in Norway intersect in League Cup final. And she got very depressed. And the Spurs fan was thinking: 'This is great. "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker.", Why dont they drink tea at White Hart Lane?Because all the cups are in Manchester. Supporters Clubs. However, the real challenge for Wenger in what could well be his last season in charge of Arsenal is to try and snap the team out of the feedback loop they have been stuck in for the second half of his reign. Arsenal might be top of the Premier League by five points, and clear of local rivals Tottenham Hotspur by 11 points, but one fan still thinks the Spurs players are better. A: Ask a Tottenham Hotspur supporter! She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Tottenham Hotspur supporters, too. Why did the aliens land in the Emirates?Because theres no atmosphere. Some Tottenham fans took to social media to mock their North London rivals after Arsenal's loss to Aston Villa on Monday meant that they will finish below Spurs again this year. A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions. You tell it want kind of music you want to listen to, and it automatically changes. Arsenal fans still sing his name with pride and affection. What should you do? Q: Whats the difference between Tottenham Hotspur and a mosquito? He always reacts like that when we lose a match. He takes them before anyone notices.Nails always come in handy. Q: What do you call a dead Tottenham Fan in a closet? A policeman was driving along one day when he saw a car in a ditch.When he looked inside he saw a deceased man with a spurs shirt on, a dildo up his arse, a pink tutu on, and a lot of over-the-top make-up. What is the difference between Tottenham and a book?A book has a title. Then guy from ARSEnal saysi'm not hungry. Student : Manchester United lost because their defenders were Young, Small and Blind, A woman was reading a newspaper one morning and said A her husband, Why was the wife shocked on the wedding night?She thought she was marrying an Arsenal fan not an arsehole fan. Martin Odegaard's long range shot nine minutes before halftime pretty much ended the match as a contest, even if Spurs did improve in the second half. You wouldn't do a thing like that,-would you?' Required fields are marked *. If you click the basket without any items having been added, a pop-up message on the site will show up. Primary It's another one of football's immutable laws; a binding force holding Arsenal in place: Never too good. The Spurs fan continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. To receive credit as the author, enter your information below. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. He looked at the others and asked, "Who the hell is Martin Keown? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. "That's excellent! 4. A: arsenel. BA1 1UA. Arsenals 100% win record start to the EPL season 2022-23 was finally ended after six games, and fans are speculating about a similar pattern in previous seasons post-Wenger era. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); . For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing. Q: Why do Arsenal fans suck at geometry? Tottenham, however, have had the recent bragging rights over their north London neighbours. Arsenal goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale has revealed the squad still have "scars" from the painful events of last season. "Let's hear the good news," the president replied. Potter: Chelsea players back me amid poor run, LIVE Transfer Talk: Chelsea keen to open talks over Gvardiol, Leaders Napoli suffer shock loss as Lazio go 2nd, Dortmund beat Leipzig to go top of Bundesliga, Spirit make NWSL history by signing 15-year-old, Sunil Chhetri's controversial winner against Kerala Blasters explained: by the laws, and Chhetri himself, Arsenal target Caicedo signs new Brighton deal, Bengaluru FC win 1-0 after Kerala Blasters FC forfeit match, Sources: Firmino to leave Liverpool in summer, Raul and Valverde are keeping Madrid prodigy Alvaro's feet on the ground, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Similar to Bananaman getting called up as an Avenger. The car radio automatically switches to an Arse match on Capital "Gooner" Gold. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. Tottenham have their own customized version of the phrase to bottle. To Spurs a game or have something Spursed is equivalent to bottling something. Unleash your creativity & share you story! They come across a dead camel and are having trouble deciding who gets what? More likely, the mental wounds inflicted by losing the league from 2-0 up away to Chelsea, raw and on display as they conceded twice and resorted to a stunning array of fouls, kicks and one infamous eye-gouge, simply could not be healed. Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and a Spurs striker?
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